I am an Introvert: I don’t need to come out of my shell! Neither you.

I know very well being an introvert myself that how hard it is to socialize and live with the social norms. I have a very few friends and they are also introverts like me. Our parents and school teaches us to become more socialize and come out of our shell. They simply tell that we are some freaking, awkward human being lost inside our mind forever. Our parents even think and afraid that we may become mad or cut out of the society.

 

 

Friends from my school and college didn’t understand me as I was lost in my own world inside my brain. I often create an imaginary world and lost there for many hours without knowing or realizing about it. I feel worse in a gathering, party, and functions. At these times when I attend any of it my nervousness is shown out. Sometimes I sweat a lot, actually most of the times. Even when I am in front of my students my sweating will continue in the summer days. Don’t know why but I become nervous in front of many people and like to work and stay alone, other than my wife. Many times my colleagues complain that they have been calling me or saying something to me but I was not listening. Actually, I was lost in thoughts so much that there was not any presence of my colleagues and any other human beings.

 

 

And I really hates the small talkers. My talks with the small talkers are so discouraging that they dare to continue to talk to me. Even one of my girlfriend whom I was dating long ago complained that I didn’t talk more than “How are you? Are you okay, fine?” whenever I met her. Obviously,  the relationship didn’t last long. Sometimes when I drive a motorcycle and drive back my home I forget to stop by my home and go forward because I was thinking about something deep inside my mind. Because of this habit or the introvert mind people laugh at me at my back and they think that I am … whatever, I don’t really care about that, thinking of others because you can’t stop others every time and everything they do.

 

When people want a conversation then they brag about something. Especially they complain about the weather at that time. If it is hot and humid like now then they will just begin with the weather by almost yelling,

“I can’t bear this heat and humidity, how bad is this! Simply a monster and I hate the summer days but love the cool winter.”

“So what? It is summer time and it is ought to get hot and humid.” I reply and they soon shut their mouth without further hurting my adventure going on inside my mind. I know and experience that they also brag about the cold in the winter. They simply like the preppy talk to continue and waste their and others time. I can’t bear these preppy, small, worthless talks for more than a minute. They know with my behavior that I am not enjoying their talks. But it is not that I never talk. Yes, I do talk with my intimate friends and my wife for hours. We simply talk about some topic important rather than the preppy talks.

 

 

Introverts might not enjoy parties, but that isn’t because they’re afraid of them. It’s because they’re easily bored by them. They’d rather love to read a book and write something meaningful. They want to live by the moment and do things which energize them and fulfill them.

Indeed, many of the greatest inventors, engineers, creators, thinkers, writers, artists and revolutionaries have possessed the traits of introversion. Einstein, Newton, Yeats, Proust, Shakespeare, Orwell, Edison, Plato, Bill Gates — all introverts. And all incredibly successful BECAUSE of this trait, not in spite of it. Today I’m sure we’d tell Newton to “come out of his shell”. We’d be offended by Plato because he doesn’t stop to talk about the weather every time we pass him in the hall.

 

 

The reason that all the geniuses who have changed the world and still have been changing are introverts because they love to work alone. If you can’t shut your mouth for a minute then when will you think about a useful thing? You need to keep quiet and sit hours lonely in order to research, think, write, read, draw, create etc. Which an introvert can. So, don’t be embarrassed if you can’t enjoy and become the center of attention in the party because you could change the whole world for good.

Building a house: It takes great tolls on your life, especially for the middle class.

For me, as a middle-class man, it is a scariest of things to build a house of own. It wears you out even before the actual work of building a house. Because it is supercritical and hard to get funding for the middle-class people like me. Luckily enough, I have a government service with a very minimal salary. The Assam Government has announced the scheme known as ‘Apon Ghar’ or ‘Own House’ with 5% approx interest rates. Hearing the scheme brought juice to my mouth. Finally, I would have a house of my own, I thought. Because it will take only a very small amount of document compared to the large heap of documents for other general housing loans, it claimed.

 

But Hola! When I have embraced my waist and get set to acquire the documents then only I came to know that it also requires a mountain of documents from land to salary slip, Engineers masterplan to many signatures of DDO. It is an endless battle for me in order to get that loan to build my own house. After many hassles, I was able to gather the documents but in vain. I came to know that the salary account should be transferred from the United Bank of India to the State Bank of India because the loan was provided by SBI. I have personally consulted the Branch Manager of UBI bank. He always assured of coming to the facility to their branch just next month which never came. I was able to claim for the ‘Apon Ghar’ loan only after the SBI has made a change to their process of enrollment for the other bank’s salary account holders. Finally, after many months of wait and rigorous hard work I was able to get the Housing Loan provided by the state government of Assam.

 

Now the construction is going on and I am very positive that it will complete after a couple of months. But the beginning was very hard. Whenever I asked people about building a house they only tell, show the negative expects of the process. One of my colleagues answered that it is very hard to construct a house and takes so much money. He was building a house of two slabs and completed the ground floor. He told me that 25 lakhs was gone and still counting. Whereas, the loan amount will be only fifteen lakhs which I will get.

 

Whenever I asked people they doubled or even tripled their expenses. One of my girl friend’s father had built a house with the ground floor completed and an additional slab with it had cost them 35 lakhs, as she told me. I was more than shocked by it. I estimated that my house with one slab and the ground floor will cost me maximum 16 lakhs. Actually, it depends upon you how much you want to spend. As I have told you that I am a middle-class man, therefore, my house will be built on budget suited for me. That’s it. If you want to construct your own house for whatever reason just wait till the right moment and take benefits of schemes provided by the Central or State Government.

Anushka and Virat had done the right thing. Appreciate and encourage it rather than to criticize it.

Arhan Singh has sent legal notice against Virat Kohli, the cricketer and the diva, actress Anushka Sharma. Because they have posted a video of throwing garbage by Arhan Singh and Anushka reacting to it. Arhan Singh is the most crook, shameless person I have ever seen. His mind is so full of shit that he has not seen his mistake and instead of apologizing publicly he has sent the legal notice to the couple.

 

 

The video went viral when the couple posts it on social media. It is very sad and hopeless to know that many people are actually telling it a publicity stunt. Even a Congress leader Jadav has jumped into the conversation and said against the couple. Arman has alleged the couple that their behavior is more trash than his trash thrown on the street. I have seen the video and found nothing trash talks other than an outraged woman wanting to teach a grown up man where to throw the garbage.

 

 

Arman Singh represents a member of the society which is rich, powerful but forgot about the basic sanity. They are the people who throw their garbage in neighbors place, who pee on the roadside without caring passerby’s, which are only self-centered and don’t give a damn about the Country, it’s people or whatsoever. And what about the society as a whole? The society is on the verge of being rote. Littering garbage and throwing litters on the road itself has become so common that nobody bothers nowadays. We should thank Anushka and Kohli for spreading awareness. They deserve a great appreciation not a legal notice for this and instead the culprit Arhan Singh should be punished. My dear society with people you have to change yourself first to bring change to the Nation.

 

 

The political parties are the worst entrepreneur of the good-doers. They only know, want to open. They have sniffed something beneficial to the other party so no matter what will oppose vehemently. They do nothing good themselves and only criticize the opposition party. These parties are the true hinder, enemy in the development of a Nation. In the video, Anushka is so furious and scolding the person who was a well educated and traveling in an SUV. We have to bring that furiousness in our mind, body, and soul. Retain that and change the situation of our country from dirty to a clean one. Let the fire burn and clean every single piece of garbage from this beautiful Country.

 

NRC Assam and beyond: What will happen after the illegal immigrants are identified?

Assam is going to declare or complete the consolidated draft for the list/NRC on 30th June 2018. And the process is set to go on till the final list/NRC is updated which probably will take a couple of months more. But the basic question arises in the mind of most of the Assamese people and even other communities in the whole of India that what will happen those illegal immigrants?

 

It is a pretty difficult question to answer. Because illegal immigrants are a problem that is facing by a whole lot of countries of the world. Even the most powerful country in the world i.e. the USA is also facing the same type of problem. Donald Trump is expected to take stern action to deport them. The UK government want to detain the illegal immigrants from India as soon as possible. Even the descendants will be sent off to India. The world is not tolerating even the educated, cultured and rich Indians and wants to send them back as soon as possible.

But what we are doing in India, Assam? We are tolerating the illegal immigrants from Bangladesh from decades and they are doing every type of crimes from rapes to murders. What we nice people are doing instead?

With lots of hardship and sacrifices, the NRC is updating with an aim to detain by identifying the illegal immigrants from Bangladesh and other countries.  Therefore, it is very important to assure that the illegal immigrants which will be identified should be properly dealt with. Therefore, I want to suggest some alternatives if the Bangladesh government do not want to take their citizens. It is a matter of shame to Narendra Modi, the respected Prime Minister’s of India that the Government has not been able to convince, pressurize the Hasina Government to take their citizens back from India which is illegally residing here.

Point 1)

Every possible option should be taken against Bangladesh to pressurize them to take back their citizens. Even weapons like the Economic blockade, political support should be withheld from Bangladesh. Though Bangladesh reiterates that they are far better position in economic position from India, it is far from being truth. They will face a disastrous situation if India withholds economic and political support from them.

 

Point 2)

Giving working permit to the illegal immigrants. Irrespective of their caste and religion the illegal immigrants should be not given citizenship status but working permit to work anywhere in India. It will good solution for the migrants which will have no other rights other than to work and stay in India. And they will be given whole India to work for hence Assam will have less pressure on them to bore the burden of illegal immigrants.

 

Point 3)

If India finds no other solution then it can find the solution with the taste of bitterness by dividing the identified persons equally to each and every state of India in proportionate to the area of the state. Because if they are divided according to the area of the states then no state will face of injustice. And of course, Assam will be happier and satisfied with this solution as they will have to bear only a small amount of illegal immigrants from Bangladesh.

 

These three points will not be easier for the Indian Government to achieve and implement. But I believe that India can do this and overcome any type of difficulties under the leadership of our honorable Prime Minister. This is time for us to become watchdog and remain super active in every development going on in the updating process of NRC, ASSAM.

There are certain things which you can’t change: Either live with it and move forward or just whine

Have you seen or just heard a child who cries all night just for no reason or for trivia? They stop their cry only to gather breath and to start again. How annoying are they feel? Imagine or remember it and think that are you doing the same thing? Are you not whining about your luck, skills, talent or health? Because many do it. They simply don’t do anything and just criticize others and starts whining that they have not given opportunity, power or the luck.

 

Life is not always easy going and it brings some very unforeseen situations and sorrowful moments. But what to do? You have to move forward even with those sorrows and difficulties. Arunma Sinha was raped, looted and thrown from the railway. She did not die and somehow managed to live when the villagers found her unconscious and brought to a nearby hospital. Did she lose hope and stay inside the home to live like a coward? No, she didn’t. She decided that she will climb the Mount Everest to strengthen her initiative against such horrendous crimes. And she succeeded to climb the Mount Everest. So, she taught us that we can live and go forward in life no matter what comes our way. It is not easy to even come out of her home after the barbaric incident. The questioning, jesting eyes of people and the society is already too much to bear. It takes enormous courage and willpower to overcome everyone’s queer look and their talks.

 

 

I lost my father twelve years ago in 2006, July 11. It was just after the World Cup final played between France and Italy. You can probably remember the incident of Zinedine Zidane. He loved football and we watched it together many times. Now, the football World Cup is going on Russia and I am watching it alone on the internet. After that, I have lost my only son just after four days of born. He was a tiny angel you know. How powerful he was to grip my fingers just after birth. I felt so sad deep inside and my heart cries with the tragedy. I really miss them both because they were very close to my heart. But have I lost the will to live? No, I have learned to move forward in life with their fond memories. That’s it. Remember the fond memories of your loved ones and continue to live your life meaningfully and purposefully.

 

No matter who you are or how much money you have you have, tragedy, hardship will occur in your life and you have to move forward and carry on.

 

Life is not easy gliding but it is stumbles in every step you take forward

Do you think that life is a bed of roses? If you feel that life is a smooth glide without any stumble and obstacle then my dear friend you are very much wrong. One of my teacher colleagues has no children of his own but he adopted a girl child and live a life of total tension free. He drinks regularly and doesn’t care much about the family and the child. He lives without care and an aimless life and simply wasting it. If you want to live and die like him without any purpose, aim in life then you will live tension free but live in vain.

But if you want to live a meaningful life then you must suffer, must struggle and persevere. You have to be a fighter in life who never back down and stands up every time. I have learned it very hard way in life. The life knocks me out every time but I never cease to wake up and stand again to take another blow from it. It is not an easy practice to never give up. It takes enormous strength and mental power.

The most worse case is when you are alone, even the family members are against you and you feel very lonely. Your family is your greatest strength because they are very close to us and we bond with blood relationship. Whenever a person faces any problem then the family members arrive first to help and support. But if your family opposes every step you make, they block every effort of you make to progress in life then you are a very unlucky person. Sadly many people face that regularly. It is very very hard to tackle this situation but we don’t have to lose our heart. If you have no one then walk alone. If nobody cares about you then you should also ignore them and do your work.

Hope this short topic helps you somehow. And make comment if you like it, thank you.

India can become an advanced nation like no country has ever become: Yes we can.

India can, really can thrive as a Nation and become a gem of this world. We Indians are very hard working and intelligent. There is not any hurdle which can keep us from becoming number one. We are a country of youths and young. We have more than 65% of the population under the age of 35. This is an astounding fact and it shows the capacity of our country. Our youth has the capacity to run the whole world. We can provide top professionals to the world.

But to get that position of running the world our youth must work hard, get out of their comfort zone. The young are the future of tomorrow and always remember that the old write history but the young make history. So, I appeal to Indian youths from my heart to stand out and work hard for you and for the Nation. Here are some valuable lessons which I have learned from my hard owned experience which I want to share with you. By following these you can’t be unsuccessful in your life.

 

Hard Work:

My dear boys and girls, please listen to me carefully. There is No Alternative of hard work. Don’t be lazy, half awake sloths rather you should become an ant which works very hard and carries more loads than his capacity. When I often meet youths without any ambition and lack of enthusiasm in life then I feel very sad. I just want to tell them by yelling, don’t waste a minute you moron! Get out of your hibernation and do some work. You can get whatever you want in your life as you are young and able.

Hard work is everything to succeed in any field of life. You may be lack of talent and intelligent but hard work even beats the intelligent. What will be a more suitable example then the great Inventor Thomas Alva Edison? He told that 99% is perseverance and only one percent is intelligent. Then why you can’t achieve anything? Do you think that the great and successful people don’t work hard? Then you are wrong they work hard. Every person in this Universe has to work hard to survive and thrive. Even the most successful person has to continue to work hard to maintain his status.

 

No Excuses:

We every one in this world has a ton of excuses available for us to show people why we are not successful. And I know they are valid also. I have made many excuses throughout my life. But I have learned that excuses are never worked especially it is only cheating to the self. You are maybe sick, maybe disable or maybe very poor. But if you look at the examples of the great man even in the contemporary world you would be astounded to know their success story. It is only a mental game. They had a ton of excuses but they choose to work hard and forget those shortcomings.

Do you think that somebody cares about your excuses? You are wrong, nobody cares about your excuses and hardships because they have their own! If you smile the world smiles with you but if are sad then nobody will be sad because of you. Therefore, no excuses if a cancer patient Yuvraj Singh can be on the squad of Indian cricket team then you can do anything. It only takes a step forward to walk, the miles will be covered by the following steps.

 

 

Take Risk:

The classic saying, “No Risk No gain” is very true and important factor to be successful in this world. The Neanderthals have not taken the risk of crossing the African plains then we would have been living in the trees with the monkeys. Our whole civilization has depended upon taking risk. Then why you are not taking any risk yet?

 

We Indians have the very bad habit of homesickness. We can’t easily leave our parents home. So, we can’t take our own decision and depend upon parents. Therefore, we lack the self confidence to compete with the youth of world which are self-reliant and confident. So, get out of your home, your comfort zone and live wherever you can. Live in a factory, your car or even the basement but run out of your home and take risk. Go do anything you like or you have to do to survive till you find your purpose, passion. And when you find your purpose of life then stick to it. Stick to it till you have fulfilled it or continue to try for the eternity.

Take risk to earn money, to thrive in bussiness, to learn new things and technology. The days will be not far when we Indians will be the richest people in the world both material and spiritually. And India will become the number one Nation.

How can we progress as a nation if we can’t stop rape of infant and minors? It is a shame for such a culturally and morally rich country, India.

Advocate Deepika Singh Rajawat who has taken the Kathua rape case fears of her safety. Even the bar members ostracized her and called names. But she is firm and determined to continue to fight for justice. As she loves her job and wants to fight for justice no matter what. The government should protect her and provide security of life and property. How can she be alienated when an editor with Personal Security Officers Shujaat Bukhari can be shot to death?

 

She is a braveheart and true heroine of our country. We should be Human before we are Hindu, Muslim, and Nationalists. Even the wild beasts don’t do such horrendous work of raping and killing an infant of 8 years old. It is time for us to think why such things are happening in our country? Women from infant to old are not safe even in their homes and school. They have to live the life with the fear of being raped anytime. where are we heading towards as a Nation?

 

Sikkim is the number one peaceful State of India. It disheartened me when I read in a newspaper that a girl was molested and raped several times by her father. Father and mother are the main protectors of their children. So, if they are not safe even with them then it is the time to give a serious thought about it.

 

Moral education is the need of the hour to curb out these rapes and murders. Believe in God and the principle of morality should be the main principle of our life. Sex drive should be pursued after marriage and before marriage and illegible sex should be condemned and made a punishable offense.

Boys and Girls listen to me, you think negative and get negative result and vice versa

Be positive live positive

My boss is a sheer negative man and he can’t think of positive things even for an hour. He is one of the most negative men I have met in my life. He lives in the fear that something bad will happen right now. He is not able to take any decision of his own and in time. He delays every decision and wait for the last moment to complete everything.

 

My Boss: “Today, I have saw fish bone in my dream, my day is going to be awful today.” He shredded his head.

Me: I said, no it can’t be so sir, be positive because a dream is a dream. It doesn’t have some special meaning. But he looked at me with disapproved eyes.

 

He is the man with a ring of luck in every finger of his both hand. Something queer is present in his defeatist look. Therefore I did not expect that he is going to listen to me or anyone. So, I tried to forget about his remark and carry on my duty.

 

My Boss: “Patar, you did not wrote this.” He said to me in a voice that this time he got me.

I looked at the document carefully and found that it is already done. So I corrected him. He only uttered a small huh.

 

The half of the day he would try to bring out fault in my work and everytime I corrected him as it was not my fault. At 12.30 pm his boss called him. He went to his boss after uttering f**k off several times as he already believed that everything is going to be horrible.

Me:   What is the matter sir?

Boss:  “The idiot said that his passbook is wrongly delivered to me. He is a pervert and crook. I have not even opened the cheque book yet which was delivered to me therefore thought that it was for me.” Now I am going to bring the cheque book from home and patar, look after the office carefully.

 

He drove the car and went to home which is situated on 20 minutes of driving time. But he didn’t came after an hour passed instead my phone rang.

 

Strangely enough my boss was on the line. “Patar, I have met an accident while driving to home. Though it is minor but now I am in the hospital  and I think it is because of the dream of fish bones. Didn’t I told you that it is very unlucky?”

 

But I remained positive at least try hard to. Especially after reading the life changing book “THE POWER of POSITIVE THINKING” by NORMAN VINCENT PEALE. I tried to stay calm in the every situation and to be positive, always. One of my colleague try to insult , jest me for several times. Especially I didn’t liked his tone as it was full of self proud and insulting. But I kept my calm and peace of mind. I gently talk to him, try to be good with him with lower voice and show lots of enthusiasm to his views. As I became more composed and confident because of the positive thinkings he left his arrogance. Slowly he begins to show respect to me in return of my respect.

 

I am neither a big preacher of positive thinking and nor a big success for being positive. But my small life circle and its surrounding seems to me very positive when I am positive myself. Try it yourself guys and feel it and then tell me, does it works?

Why the Divorce rate is increasing in India? And Saas, Bahu and Husband

Divorce rate is increasing in India.

Honestly, the divorce rate in India is not like that of the advanced countries like U.K. and USA but it is increasing at a rapid pace. It has skyrocketed in this decade than the previous one. Especially it is increasing more in the cities than villages but it is definitely in the upward direction.

The divorce is a common word for us now. Some of my friends are divorced and some even got married again. One of my wife’s girlfriend is married to a Muslim man. They live in a big city and therefore there is no discrimination whatsoever because of their inter-religious marriage. She is telling my wife that she will take divorce because she can’t cope with her husband’s religious culture and beliefs. Therefore, as the society is progressing and we are embracing new technologies day by day our personal lives are in despair and in the doldrums.

In the previous decade, the word divorce was strange to many. Either they have not heard of it or never understood its meaning. It was the norm to continue the marriage till the end of anyone between the husband and wife. They had immense patient and understanding between them. They conversed continuously and try to solve every problem they have. And by chance, if the problem never ceases to ward off then they continued to live together by ignoring it. Our culture is so ancient that it is enrooted in our soul. Therefore, they were able to live the eternal life and stay together for this world and beyond.

But, the time is changing rapidly these days because of technological advancement. We are so busy with selfies and tweets that we forget to notice that wife is not feeling well, she is upset and even angry for some reason. Or the husband is home after the 5 to 9 job but the wife is not asking for a glass of water, she is not taking any care and even ignores him to keep busy in Instagram, shopping online. These small things pile up together to become a big problem which leads to separation and tragedy.

We kill our time in these unnecessary things because we are lack of a purpose in our life. When I ask the purpose of their life to my eight to ten standard students they are simply unable to tell or don’t know, never thought of. Even my younger brother who is a teacher has no aim or purpose in his life. It really pains me a lot when I meet these young men and women without any purpose and goal in life. They simply don’t understand that there is any purpose in life other than to acquire material gains and enjoyment. So, they forget to enrich their soul. And the soul becomes empty. The emptiness of soul leads to faulty living and adultery. Hence lack of self-confidence and confidence in the almighty. The end result is a big zero and emptiness which leads to divorce.

Are you bored to death by my lecture? I guess you might be but now is the interesting part which will automatically make you jump and sit on your bed. I bet it if you are a men, a married man. Do you know who is the luckiest married man in this universe? Can you guess? Here is the answer, the man whose mother and wife live in harmony!

For me, I can’t even imagine about how peaceful it would be to live in such a state of true peace and tranquility. Because unfortunately my mother doesn’t want peace with my wife. In between them, i.e. mother and wife the husband becomes a football which is wanted and chased by both party to score a goal. And the serial makers, advertisers knows it very well and run many serials and advertises in this topic of Saas-Bahu.

I just want to tell the ladies that just think of your Bahu as your own daughter. Imagine if your daughter finds at the same position then how you would feel then. Or at least treat them as your students if you can’t think them as your own daughter. And to the wives, it is your duty and moralty to treat your Saas as your own mother. She is not young as you, she may lack education and may not understand many things but you have to handle the situation carefully and with humanity.

What can I do other than write and hope that the situation changes in the better way. Thank you and God bless you